Since the announcement of Sarah Palin as John McCain’s vice-presidentical candidate, many “marriage” type issues have been flying everywhere in the homes, message boards, blogs, and newspapers. No matter how you will vote, the issues are ones we all face. Do YOU know how you feel? Do you know how your spouse-to-be feels? Some great questions that have come out.
Sarah Palin went back to work 3 days post partem with a special needs baby. (Not sure if her husband was home though he was a full time worker.) Do you believe in you have a public-servant job as she does as Governor of Alaska that she did the right thing by serving her state? Or do you believe she should have been home with her baby for longer? Do you have an idea of how long you think a baby should be with a parent and are you willing to deal with the financial issues around taking time off work?
Sarah Palin has taken an intense job that for 2 months will leave her away from home and then, if she gets the job, she will be across the country and very busy. What do you and your fiance feel about high power jobs and kids? Sarah’s husband is now a stay at home dad. Are either or both of you up for a time consuming career? Do you feel you both have a right to work hard or do you feel the kids need someone home? What if one of you wants a career change in a few years – will the other support that whether it means a pay decrease or a pay increase attached to a dramatic increase in work hours?
The reality is we just can not predict the future. Three years ago I would never have predicted where I would be today or where my husband would be. We were making great money, both in Corporate America. I’ve since been home with my son (and now daughter), working on this website and a therapy website, while my husband went back to school to do marriage counseling. That is a low paying job until you can build your practice, which takes 2-4 years. Talk about not getting what you signed up for when you got married! His well paying job went down to 0 and will eventually build to about 30% of what he made and eventually get close to 70-80% of what he used to make. But as his spouse, he was miserable in his last job and he absolutely needed this new career. He is more content than he has been in a long time. And I know first hand money does not make happiness so there was no question I would support him all along the way. But it means we have a radically different lifestyle.
So to prepare for your wedding you are likely also thinking about how your future goals impact todays decisions on how much to spend on your wedding, travel, on job choices, on buying a house, on where you live?