I bought an etiquette book to help people with First Dance etiquette (a common way people find the website.) I am now reading the whole book and it is fascinating. A few things I’ve been interested to learn in the first couple chapters:
1 – etiquette is “required” for formal or ultraformal weddings but only desirable for “lower” weddings
2 – you are supposed to register ASAP after getting engaged, for the engagement party (which should also be ASAP) and other gift giving opportunities
3 – the grooms family pays for the bridal bouquet and other flowers. I had read this in my own wedding planning but have yet to hear of anyone actually doing this. It fascinates me because the whole “money” topic is touchy to begin with, how would a bride approach the grooms family about paying for a fancy bouquet?
4 – a big “ah-ha” moment was this author believes that etiquette RESOLVES all “people stress”. Yes, etiquette is meant to smooth over social uncertainty but in today’s weddings I think it can cause MORE stress when nobody is on the same etiquette page.
5 – according to this book 40% of couples pay their own entire wedding. I’ve read a lot on this subject and never seen 40%. I’ve seen a lot of 20-27% range. Considering the average age for college graduates is I believe 28/30 for women/men, I’m not sure if a full 40% can afford their entire wedding – especially going to grad school means you may be done with school only a short time before the wedding. And with the average wedding in the 20something thousand range, there must be a lot of debt incurred by the 20-40% of couples who pay the entire thing themselves.
I’ll share more as I learn more!
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